PeeWee Herman: The Lost Episode

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Hello. My name is Fred. This is the story of how I found the lost episode of Peewee's Playhouse. It all started in 1987, when I was 5 years old. My parents turned the TV on, and on it, I saw Peewee, my hero on the screen. From that day on, I bought every Peewee episode on DVD. Every piece of merchandise about this wonderful man was in my room. Everyday, I went to school in my Peewee Herman shirt. One time, the bully at my school in 4th grade called me a dumb dumb. I turned to him and said, "Well fuck right off you nigger." I then threw my mashed potatoes at his eye, and he fell down the stairs and cracked his head open. Good times. I'm still not allowed within 200 meters of the school. My love for Peewee Herman carried on. However, this is about how my beloved Peewee Herman became burnt into my mind as one of the scariest figures of my childhood. It all began on New Years Eve, 1999. I was incredibly glad my years of schooling were about to end. I was going to go to college and become a comedian, just like my hero Peewee. As I walked down the disgusting streets of pre-911 Manhattan, I heard a man call my name from a distance. I was scary, as last time this happened my asshole became loose. I turn around and see a corridor between two apartment complexes. I slowly walk towards the voice with a feel of fear in my heart. I see a shady man in a tall trench coat and a fedora. "Hey kid....." he said to me. I stare at him while staying a safe distance away from him. "So......you like Peewee Herman, don't you kid?....." I would understand, as I was wearing a plain white shirt with the words, "I am Peewee Herman's Bitch" printed on the shirt. I nod my head, and he laughs with a deep, raspy voice. He reaches into his coat, and pulls out a VHS. "This.....is really gonna entertain you." I ask what it is, and he shows me the words written on the VHS. It read, "Peewee's Playhouse: Lost Episode." I accept the VHS, with a large grin across my face. I say thank you, and walk away. I look back for 1 second and see him with his coat pulled off and his wiener exposed. I walk away faster to my apartment. Before I watch this great VHS, I settle down to celebrate New Year's Eve with my cat, Ronald. I order some pizza, drink some wine, and lay down on my bed. I stare at the VHS, wondering what it could contain. I pop it into my TV, and sit back in anticipation. Strangely enough, it's the entire last season of Peewee's Playhouse, and the episode select is completely normal. In the background is the man himself, Peewee, holding multicolored balloons. He had the biggest smile on his face, as if nothing could go wrong. The cheery theme song was playing, and now, I can finally experience the entire Peewee televised franchise, uncut and beautiful. I grab the remote and scroll past the last episode. The episode name is "PeeweeHerman.exe" When the arrow pointed at the name, the cheery music cut. I select the episode. The screen goes black. I eject the VHS, blow on it, and put it back in. I go back to select the episode. The screen goes black. I decide not to take out the VHS, so I eat a banana, microwave the peel, and masturbate with the peel while looking at my cat. After copulating with a banana, the screen displays Peewee's playhouse. As it zooms in on the playhouse, Peewee walks out. But it wasn't normal Peewee. He looked oddly realistic and looked like a human being and not a human being in a TV show. Then, Peewee walks back into the playhouse. He reaches under his bed, and takes out an assault rifle. The playhouse, completely empty of everyone, except Peewee. He put on a trench coat, and hid the assault rifle in his jacket. He gets into a white van, and drives away. As he drives towards the mall, he then says, "I will fix this world." Upon arriving in the mall, he goes to the food court. A single tear drips from his eye. Under his breath, he says, "I'll be with my bicycle now." He pulls out the assault rifle and sprays everyone down with bullets. He laughs manically, as he screams, "I'M PEEWEE HERMAN!" The slaughter goes on for 20 minutes, then the TV turns black. The color returns again with an image of Peewee Herman, but he was smiling with black eyes, and blood leaking from his eyes and mouth. I look down and see the banana peel on my penis. It was fully erect. I know that I had made the greatest decision ever to watch this. I don't need shitty porn sites anymore that are littered with ads. I have found a truly great porno. Thinking back on my experience with Peewee Herman in my childhood, he was certainly scary. It was scary I had never jerked off to this beast of a man. This lost episode isn't about fear or loss. It's about discovering yourself.